Andrex's lamentable Scrunch or Fold campaign might have hastily assumed that there are only two ways of, how shall we put it?, using toilet tissue to wipe one's arse. This is arrogant, myopic folly as there is a third way.
Ladies and gentlemen, witness the innovative wonder that is Comfort Wipe.
And marvel at their minute and a half long infomercial where they demonstrate the merits and method of using their product.
Those of a squeamish disposition look away now. Or just don't click on the video.
And no, it's not a spoof. It's the "first improvement to toilet paper since the 1880's" dontcha know.
I love the moment where the fat bloke says "Being big certainly has its advantages and its disadvantages". He then smiles and points to the Comfort Wipe product and says "This is a great product".
The disadvantages of being big when it comes to arse-wiping are left unspoken, hanging in the air and the mind is forced to speculate on what that might really mean....
Ain't technology wonderful?