It still never ceases to amaze me, in this age where work goes through rounds of comments and feedback and other such methods of disimproving it, that advertising based on utter nonsense still emerges into the wide world.
I don't mean big lies. Like claiming an effect that is unproven, they rightly get caught in the net of the regulators. More the little lies, or false premises. I find myself, in the manner of a curmudgeonly old git, incessantly shouting back at my TV “No it isn't” “No I don't” or “That's not true” at the nonsense put forth before our eyes and ears.
How do these things make it onto TV? There is an ad knocking around at the moment for Voltarol – a piece of horrendous globo-bollocks depicting some woebegone fictional father and son combo from central casting, going to some ad-friendly version of a sporting event. “When you're watching the match, nobody wants injury time” declares the inoffensive but amorphous voice over man. I'm sorry – what? Have you ever actually watched a sporting contest?
Did no one, at any stage, say hold on, you know this bit right here, the first words uttered in the commercial? Well that's just not true is it? Yes I know, Rufus, but that's the bit where we link football to pain - geddit - injury time - pain - football? Well, yes Tarquin, but people do like injury time, don't they – at the very least it ensures they get the allotted ninety minutes for which they have payed their hard-earned, at the most it's the exciting climax to the match as one team throws everyone forward. Well, look Rufus, if you keep going on like this, we're never going to get this finished and be able to hit our Euro-town centre and push olives and fashionable vodka down our pointless mouths. Good point Tarquin, I'll type it up, you grab my scarf.
And so it goes. Another small entry into the encyclopaedia of why people tune out of ad breaks.