Judge A Book By It's Cover

My morning commute has recently changed, and now takes me through London Bridge. Whilst traveling I've noticed a big difference in the adverts placed on my route. Big commuter stations are obviously huge points of traffic for...well... commuters. 25-55 Year old working men and women, with more than an hour of travel time.

The ads fall into 3 main categories :
- Musicals (incase the working week isn't painful enough)
- Informative poems by TFL (incase the working week isn't painful enough)
- The Latest Celebrity Autobiography

It's the last that has become a little surreal, with a definite pattern in how these ads look. Obviously their name; the title is typically 'Autobiography', 'My Autobiography' if they are proper friendly like, or a pun relating to their career; and their portrait. In these shots 90% look like they're touching cloth, desperately concentrating with all their might not to pinch - the remaining 10% have a self assured post-pinch-but-cool-with-it grin.

These may well be amazing people with tonnes of interesting things to say, Gandhi and Churchill had a autobiographies after all. Honestly though, if any of these people below, looking as they do on their covers, approached you in the street and asked to chat - would you :

a) stop and listen for an hour a day for the next week and a half
b) avoid eye contact and dial up the pace
c) suspect a stroke and call 999. The faster you act, the more of the person you save.


  1. Alex, Harry and Jonny all look like they've had their eyes 'shopped smaller.

  2. c) if you don't buy this book, the person will murder a kitten every hour until you do.

    1. Sadly these celeb books are the biggest sellers by far in publishing. Roy Keane looks almost benign in the second book - shurely shome mishtake.

      Of course with most of them, you wouldn't be approached in the street by the celeb in question, but their ghostwriter (who would probably be far more interesting to chat to).

  3. What the fuckitty fuck is that apostrophe doing in the Bear Grylls title?

    1. It's a comma after mud, but badly laid out


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